Where I'm At

Hey friends.

I want to give a bit of an update of what's going on in my life, but I feel like there's so much going on that I don't know where to start.
A couple things I'm reminded of when thinking about what's going on in my life and specifically where I'm at:
1. At the beginning of the semester, a theme of mine was that "I want to be about who He is, not where I'm at." I think that is definitely coming back into play now. Specifically when talking about where I'm at physically. My desire is to only be concerned with who He is and not worry about where I'm at. Whether I'm in college station, in houston, overseas, or anywhere in between doesn't really matter. Every where I am, He has chosen me to be there and to use me there, and my desire needs to be to bring Him glory regardless of what part of the world I'm in.
2. "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying 'This is the way, walk in it.'" - Is. 30:21. This has definitely become a theme for my life right now. I see Father's faithfulness in opening and closing doors and guiding me in the path He has for me. It's really beautiful. I stress about making decisions, and then He makes the decisions for me. It's pretty baller.

A few other thoughts:
1. Donna Stuart's new cd = baller/I swear a couple of the songs are my life in song format
2. Loving making international friends here. It's been a fun and meaningful semester because of it.
3. I am more than likely going to complete all my hours this semester! Whoop! (don't judge the fact that that's a big deal...I'm excited)
4. I got a 92ish on my Chinese midterm. It was easy, but I still like to brag.
5. I'm not doing as well as I'd like in getting back in shape, or getting full nights of sleep.

Sorry for the scatteredness of this post.
You are loved.

Categories:

Semester Goals

Last semester, I set some pretty intense goals. Doable...but intense. Most of them didn't happen. This semester, with one week down (and about a million more to go), I am trying to set some realistic goals.



1. Stay on top of my classes - care about them - glorify God in them. Don't skip class unless necessary.*

2. Live missionally in all I do.

3. Encourage the body of Christ to lve missionally.

4. Get a job - work hard - glorify Daddy in that.

5. Get in shape.

6. Write Abigail letters regularly.

7. Be in control of my body and not let it be in control of me (exercising, eating right, regular sleep schedule, etc.)

8. At least 8 hours of sleep a night.**



*Do my very best to not skip class unless necessary. It's not realistic to say I won't at all.

** Already failed at this at least one night. Again, it's a "do my very best" type of thing.



Feel free to keep me accountable/ask me about these things.

You are loved. :)

Categories:

My God is bigger

Our God is greater

Our God is stronger

God, You are higher than any other

Our God is healer, awesome in power

Our God, our God

I want to tell yall about one of the days this summer. Let's just start out with saying... it was a long day.

It started out with us going to the shops near the Big Temple in the city. After visiting for awhile, our doctor friend took us to a new temple with the goddess of mercy statue. This statue is HUGE. It is like over 60 ft tall or something crazy like that. This statue has 1000 hands and some ridiculous amount of eyes. As our friend told us about it and even asked us if we wanted to bow down to it, I became extremely overwhelmed. I just kept thinking "It's so big. It's so big." That's when I was so sweetly reminded by my God (the True God), "I'm bigger." And He gave me this song (Our God is greater). What a sweet truth. He is bigger than some statue. He is greater than false beliefs and the lies our friend is trapped in. He is higher than false religion.

We got back to our side of town at about 2 in the afternoon and proceeded to have a late lunch at our favorite noodle place. During our lunch, one of the girls I went with's bag was stolen. It was a frustrating couple of hours as we tried to deal with the situation. When we went to a coffee shop a few hours later, she and I got to talk for awhile. We talked through some of the frustrations and irritations from the day, and talked about the fact that satan was attacking because of all God was doing. This ended up just being more frustrating because we were letting satan get to us, and it had gotten in the way of intentional meetings with friends. That is when Daddy reminded us again, "I'm bigger." He is so much bigger than threats and plans of the evil one. He is so much bigger than our frustrations. He is so much bigger!

The Lord reigns, let the earth rejoice;

let the many coastlands be glad!

Clouds and thick darkness are all around him;

righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne.

Fire goes before him and burns up his adversaries all around.

His lightnings light up the world;

the earth sees and trembles.

The mountains melt like wax before the LORD;

before the Lord of all the earth.

The heavens proclaim his righteousness,

and all the peoples see his glory.

All worshipers of images are put to shame,

who make their boast in worthless idols;

worship him, all you gods!

Zion hears and is glad,

and the daughters of Judah rejoice,

because of your judgements, O LORD.

For you, O LORD, are most high above all the earth;

you are exalted far above all gods.

Psalm 97:1-9

Categories:

What I Learned

So the main question I keep getting asked when I talk to people about my summer in East Asia is "What did you learn?"
That's a hard question to answer because I learned so much.
But what I keep coming back to and the first thing I always tell people is Lamentations 3:21-26

"But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,

His mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

Great is your faithfulness.

"The Lord is my portion," says my soul,

"therefore I will hope in him."

The Lord is good to those who wait for him,

to the soul that seeks him."

What did this teach me?

Well, let me just tell you.

1. I learned a lot about waiting on the Lord. I have only once before so vividly and clearly had Father pull me out of a pit as I did this summer, and that is when I chose to follow Him. It was incredible to me how if I do actually wait on Him instead of running to people or my own conclusions, He will pull me out. "The Lord is good to those who wait for him."

2. So then I wondered why I don't typically do that, and I realized that I place this expectation on Him that He is going to get tired of helping me. I don't want to bother Him. Guess what He told me then? "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases."

3. My friend and I talked about that I cling to tight to relationships for fear of being hurt. I realized that my worth is not found in Christ, and that it needs to be. I need to know that He is all I need, and the rest is just "icing on the cake." "The Lord is my portion," says my soul "therefore I will hope in him."

4. At many different points throughout the trip, I was completely broken for my friends, and crying out to God in desperation. Then there were times I was frustrated because I felt like He should have revealed Himself to them already. He reminded me of Romans 9:15-18, that His timing is perfect and I can't expect it to just happen all at once (that's not how it happened with me), and that "His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning."

5. And multiple times, in multiple ways, He reminded me of His constant faithfulness to me, my team, my friends, and that city. "Great is your faithfuless."

My Daddy, through this passage, has taught me more than that this summer and I'm sure He will continue to teach me more through this passage, but it has been such a sweet promise for me that I wanted to share it with all of you.

What has Daddy taught you so far this summer?

Can't wait to hear all about it.

You are loved.

Categories:

Just Wait.

When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same.

When I can't hear you, I know you still hear every word I pray.

And I want you more than I want to live another day.

And as I wait for You, maybe I'm made faithful.

I'm learning right now a lot about what it means to be broken. As I learn, I am being broken. It hurts. It's hard. And it's beautiful.

I have struggled with depression for about 9 years. So many times I ask God why I am still going through this, but I know that I have much to learn from it. Usually I see God despite my depression. As I am being pulled out of the pit of "despair" I see that He is the One pulling me out. Which is great.

This time my depression is worse than it has been in many, many years. There are many differences in this time and the constant struggle. For example: it's interefering with life, school, and relationships; i'm changing my meds; i'm tired constantly...i could go on.

The most recent difference of this particular struggle is what I am learning through it. Usually it is just a reminder to press on and to know God is in control. This time, rather than seeing God despite my depression, I am seeing Him in my depression. I am able to appreciate this time of brokenness because I know He is the One breaking me, and it is such a blessing to be broken and taught by the God of the universe. That He cares that much for me blows my mind.

So as I see Him in my depression, I see myself at a different place than I ever have before in this struggle. I feel as though I am a pile of bones lying on the ground begging for God to breathe life into me, to give me strength. Instead I hear Him tell me "Just wait, dear one, just wait."

It reminds me of David. Not that I would ever compare myself to David, the man after God's own heart. psh. I wish I could. But, in the time that he was living in caves hiding from Saul, he had to have asked..."God you said I would be king, but I'm going through this misery. When, God, when?" and God answered "Just wait, dear one, just wait."

So I am learning the beauty of brokenness and waiting.

I am so incredible thankful for this new lesson in my life.

You are loved. :)

Categories:

What I want to do in my life.

My friend recently wrote a blog post that included her bucket list.

This inspired me to do the same, and as my blog is typically more serious-type posts, I thought I'd have some fun.

So here are a few of the things I really hope to do at some point in my life (my bucket list, if you will):

*In no particular order

1. Learn French
2. Learn Chinese (Mandarin)
3. Learn Arabic
4. Adopt a child
5. Run a marathon
6. Live overseas
7. Live in the inner city
8. Coach basketball
9. Do something productive with my ability to rap
10. Spend time in Israel
11. Visit Cameroon/spend time in multiple areas of Africa
12. Go on a Mediterranean cruise
13. Be part of a ministry to street kids/prostitutes
14. Open up my home to someone who needs a place to live
15. Get a degree
16. Learn to play racquetball
17. Learn to cook
18. Own a construction barrel (no, really).
19. Learn how to make UBC fruit tea
20. Go to Disney World in Hong Kong

:) that's it for now. I'm sure there's more I want to do, but this was more or less off the top of my head.

Categories:

"For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God and take every thought captive to obey Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:4-5

-

What arguments and opinions are you allowing to be raised against the knowledge of God in your mind right now?

_____________________________________

Right now, I am dealing with a lot of fear.

-

Joyce Meyer in her book "Beauty for Ashes" says:

"If the devil can frighten us, then we are putting more faith in what he says than in what God says."

Hmmm... Interesting point, Joyce-y.

-

This just confirmed again how necessary it is to memorize the truth of God's Word and speak it over myself. How will I put my faith in what God says if I don't know what He says?

-

I'm excited that in my learning scripture to fight fear, I have the promise that the weapon of God's Word "has divine power to DESTROY strongholds."

-

Fear has been a constant stronghold in my life for some time, and I am excited to know that it will be broken in Jesus name.

-

You are loved. :)

Categories: