Insomnia Strikes Again

So, once again I am up at 2:30 in the morning with my brain refusing to quiet down when I realized I haven't blogged in who knows how long. Mostly because, let's be honest, people who read this already know what's going on in my life. But, turns out, I like being able to look back at the things I thought were important enough to tell people on the internet.

To make it simple: God is so faithful.

I knew that He was. Maybe. At least I said I knew that He was, but I think even when I would say that - when I would believe it even - there was a little part of me saying, "are you sure? have things ever been going good in your life?"

Obviously that was a lie from the pit of hell and needed to be taken captive, and I'm thankful to say that it often was.

BUT NOW, satan doesn't even have close to an argument. Father is faithful, and I am doing so good. Not that everything is perfect in my life - of course not, it never will be, but I can't remember a time when I was doing as well in my emotional, spiritual, and mental health as I am now.

I HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN DEPRESSION FREE FOR 6 MONTHS!

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!?! THIS IS HUGE!

I don't think there is any way to express how thankful I am. God has been so gracious to me.

Not to mention, I have a job I love, and I'm getting to be involved with a international student ministry that I love even more.

I am so very thankful.

Thank you, Jesus, for bringing beauty from these ashes.

Categories:

Prone to Wander

"Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life." John 6:68

It amazes me how I can know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the only, ONLY, thing that will satisfy is Christ. Yet, I find myself constantly looking for that satisfaction in other places. I convince myself that it's easier to do things like watch a movie or sleep than spend time with the only One who can satisfy my desires. The only one who can bring me contentment, joy, and love.

I was just meditating on that verse a little bit, and reminded of the fact that there is no where else I could go, no one else I could go to. EVERYTHING besides the One who has the Words of eternal life will leave me empty and dry. There is no point in going anywhere else.

I can just see Simon Peter when Christ asks them if they are going to leave to thinking "There's no point now...now that we've spent time around the One who has the Words of life, we won't be satisfied with anything else."

What a blessing to be one who was chosen to be able to spend time with the One who has the words of eternal life!

How is that I ever want to be doing anything else?

Categories:

Song Challenge Day 22

A song you listen to when you're sad.

I listen to lots of different Jesus music songs when I'm sad.

A couple favorites:

Categories:

Song Challenge Day 21

A song you listen to when you're happy.


I don't know that there is one specific song I listen to when I'm happy, but I think my happy music genre would definitely be motown. :)









I could go on and on...

Categories:

Song Challenge Day 20

A song you listen to when you're angry.

I was at Passion 2011 this weekend in Ft. Worth, and therefore, was unable to post songs on here. So I am just going to pick up where I left off and will end up finishing in...33 days? I think.

As far as this song goes though, if you ever see or hear me listening to this song, know that I am really really ticked off. I very very rarely get angry enough for me to listen to this song.

It used to be one of my favorites, but I realized it causes a lot of anger to stir in my heart and stopped listening to it. Except, of course, when I'm already really ticked off and just don't care.

Categories:

Song Challenge Day 19

A song from your favorite album.

Ok, so I haven't bought a whole album in who knows how long. So this album is really old, but it's definitely an all time fav...slash I think it was my first ever rap cd.

Categories:

Song Challenge Day 17 and 18

A song you often hear on the radio.

I honestly haven't listened to the radio in at least a year. I never listen to the radio. I have no idea what songs are playing on it these days.

A song you wish you heard on the radio.

If the radio played songs like this...I'd listen to it all the time.

Categories:

Song Challenge Day 16

A song you used to love and now you hate.

This took me a while to decide on any. There aren't many songs that I used to love and now can't really handle. Here are two though.

Categories:

Song Challenge Day 15

A song that describes you.

1. So What - Pink



Ok. really that doesn't describe me at all. except, of course, that I'm a rockstar.

2. I believe I can fly - R. Kelly




Ok, but really...

3. Brave to Believe - Donna Stuart
But, I couldn't find that one anywhere online.

4. Homeward Bound - Kristene Mueller

Categories:

Song Challenge Day 14

A song that no one would expect you to love.

She's not typically the style of music I listen to, but I like her a lot.

Categories:

Song Challenge Day 13

A song that is a guilty pleasure.


I keep listening to this one. I feel lame that I like it so much, but I do.

Categories:

Song Challenge Day 12

A song from a band you hate.

Well I don't really hate him musically. I just really dislike him for the person he is.
But this song I like.

Categories:

Song Challenge Day 11

A song from your favorite band.

I don't really have a favorite band, but I definitely do have a favorite rapper.







With Mary J:


And my personal fav:

P$C Ft. T.I. & Lil Scrappy - I'm A King
- Watch more Music Videos at Vodpod.

Categories:

Song Challenge Day 10

A song that puts you to sleep.

There aren't really any songs that put me to sleep, but here are a few songs that help me to quiet my soul. These songs help me when I'm restless and can't sleep. They get me to the point where I maybe can eventually fall asleep.

1. Be Still - Kari Jobe



2. Here With Me Now - Laura Hackett
Couldn't Find a way to embed this song, but you can listen to a sample of it here:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002WX450E/ref=dm_dp_trk8

Categories:

Yay, Cola!

My friend emailed me back today and told me the name of the song I like!
It's so great that she knew exactly which one I was talking about. :) I just miss her.



it's way fun.

Categories:

Song Challenge Day 9

A song you can dance to.



I love to swing dance.
Ha. Betcha weren't expecting that one were you?

Categories:

Song Challenge Day 8

A Song you know all the words to.

Invasion - Trip Lee



baller.

Also Meh Han would like to make known that this would be her song that she knows all the words to:

Categories:

Song Challenge Day 7

A Song that Reminds me of a Certain Event.

So one year out of the four I worked at the Great Adventure Camp, we did a camp American Idol weekly. I was one of the contestants and so I got to get all crazily dressed up and sing Hairspray. It was good times. I sang different songs every week, but my favorite was:

You Can't Stop The Beat




and just because you will all get a kick out of this:

Categories:

Song Challenge Day 6

I forgot to post yesterday.

A song that reminds me of somewhere.

Well there's this Mongolian song that I love that reminds me of a specific square in the Blue City, but I can't remember the name of it or find it so...

1. Seasons in the Sun reminds me of KTV. Also...this video is hilarious.



2. When I am Afraid - Laura Hackett (also reminds me of China)

Categories:

Song Challenge Day 5

A song that reminds me of someone.

1. For Good - Wicked.



I know it's cheesy, but it reminds me of my crew/family. The ones that I met in high school and have been my best friends since. These girls:




2. 96,000 - In The Heights



It reminds me of my sister. It's our jam. :)

Categories:

Song Challenge Day 4

A song that makes you sad.

1. Believe - Brooks and Dunn
This song makes me sad because it reminds me of someone who was very important to me. If you want to know about it, just ask.

Also...hear that organ? Yeah, that's my uncle.



2. Pretty much any song about abuse. Specifically child abuse. Like this one:

Categories:

Song Challenge Day 3

A song that makes you happy.

This was not difficult at all for me. These two songs are just so fun and upbeat. Despite them being pretty innapropriate, they are just really fun. So they make me happy.

1. Teenage Dream - Glee (the Katy Perry version is way not as good).



2. Take me or Leave me - Rent (the Glee version was pretty good, but you can't get better than Idina...).

Categories:

Song Challenge Day 2

Today is my least favorite song. I thought about this for awhile, but decided I couldn't pick just one.

1. Whip my Hair - Willow Smith.
Wow I hate this song. It's so obnoxious.



2. Grillz - Nelly
They used to always play this at my high school dances. I guess because it was a clean rap song and I went to a Christian school? I don't know. It drove me crazy.



3. lollipop - lil wayne
Just a horrible song.



Dang. Remember when lil wayne was good? No? let me help you. Remember this one?



that was the jam back then. fo real.

Categories:

Song Challenge

So I'm enjoying friends doing the 30 day song challenge post and thought I'd join in the fun. Even if no one pays attention to it, I think it'll be a fun endeavor. So:

*EDIT- I'm not entirely sure why the videos are showing up halfway the way they are, but you can still listen to the songs so it's ok I suppose. Any thoughts on how to fix it?

day 01 - your favorite song

day 02 - your least favorite song

day 03 - a song that makes you happy

day 04 - a song that makes you sad

day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone

day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere

day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event

day 08 - a song that you know all the words to

day 09 - a song that you can dance to

day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep

day 11 - a song from your favorite band

day 12 - a song from a band you hate

day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure

day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love

day 15 - a song that describes you

day 16 - a song that you used to love but now you hate

day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio

day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio

day 19 - a song from your favorite album

day 20 - a song that you listen to when you're angry

day 21 - a song that you listen to when you're happy

day 22 - a song that you listen to when you're sad

day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding

day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral

day 25 - a song that makes you laugh

day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument

day 27 - a song that you wish you could play

day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty

day 29 - a song from your childhood

day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year



So all that said...my favorite song at the moment:




Healing is in Your Hands - Christy Nockels
Because of where I'm at in my walk with Father right now, this song has just really ministered to me. Plus, I'm a really big Christy Nockels fan.

And I'm on a Justin Bieber kick these days (our birthday is the same day), so I would say my other fave jam would be Never Let You Go - JB

Categories:

Basketball

That's me in 10th grade.

As long as I can remember, basketball has been a part of my life. Up until college, I would have to say basketball more or less was my life.

It's who I was, it's what I was known for, it's what I did. I was one of those people that you could look at and tell I was a baller.

Most of my best memories are on the court or have to do with basketball.

Playing with three of the best (and best looking) boys I know.

Once I got into college and stopped playing, it was really strange for me. I still dressed like a baller, and acted like a baller. It was kind of an identity crisis. It took me a long time to realize that my identity is in Christ and it doesn't matter what people know me as. It was a sweet freedom to realize I can dress and act how I want and not how I think I should because of what I believe my "identity" to be.

beautiful.

Despite that, since being in college and not playing very often, I felt like a part of me was missing. I know that sounds ridiculously cliche, but I really did. It had been such a huge part of my life for so long, that without it, it feels like something is missing.

you wish you were as baller as us.

I say all this to tell you all that I've started reffing for a children's rec league 3 nights a week, and I am loving every minute of it. It's so fun to be around it again, even if it is in a different role than I am used to.

Categories: