One of my
favorite things is when David's words in the Psalms correlates exactly to words
of Jesus or Paul in the New Testament. Especially when it is words I need to be
reminded of or some of my favorite themes. One of those themes is
"Home."
What does
home mean to you? What do you do when you are home? What do you feel? What is
the best thing about being home? What is the worst? What do you expect at home?
What do you look for in a home?
Home can
be a very hard concept for me. For one thing, growing up "home" was
not a place I looked forward to being. It was often scary, hard, and full of
anger. At the same time, I was comfortable there and knew who I was. When I
went to college - specifically my last year of college and beyond, home began
to take on different meanings for me. Home was where I could relax. I could be
completely myself and not feel like I needed to be "on" as I did most
of the time when I was outside my home. There were even a few other friends' or
families' houses that I became so comfortable in, I correlated them with
"home." For me, home is a place where I completely fit. I know
exactly how I fit, and I can relax because I know who I am.
China, as much as I love it, will never be home.
Here I am
across the world, and it definitely doesn't feel like home either. Although I
love it here and there are a lot of things about the culture that make sense to
me and I like even better than the states, I don't fit. All you have to do is look at me to see how
different I am. Everyday I am reminded that I am SO white. The culture can
frustrate me, and being out and about in the city is tiring. I don't know the
language, and even if I ever become fluent, it will be my second language.
China, as much as I love it, will never be home. But, neither will America.
I desire
somewhere I fit. Somewhere I can rest and relax. Somewhere I can know who I am
and the people I love dearly from so many different places can be next to me.
I've yet to be in a place like this, but I long for it so much that I could
almost say I miss it. I know this place must exist because of the deep desire
in my heart to find it.
I long for it so much that
I could almost say I miss it.
Today I
read Psalm 69, which if I'm being honest, is a bit of a depressing Psalm, but a
few parts really spoke to the deep desire in my soul for home.
"For
it is for Your sake that I have borne reproach, that dishonor has covered my
face. I have become a stranger to my brothers, an alien to my mother's sons.
For zeal for Your house has consumed me... For God will save Zion and build up
the cities of Judah and people shall dwell there and possess it; the offspring
of His servants shall inherit it, and those who love His name shall dwell in
it." Psalm 69: 7-9
Immediately
Father brought to mind a few favorite scriptures to add to the beautiful words
I read:
"And
everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or
children or lands, for my name's sake, will receive a hundredfold and will
inherit eternal life." Matthew 19:29
"These
all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen
them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were
strangers and exiles on the earth. For people who speak thus make it clear that
they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from which
they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is,
they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not
ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city."
Hebrews 11:13-16
For people who speak
thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland.
I
desperately miss my home. The one I know in Texas, and, even more so, the one I
don't yet know with my Dad in heaven.
Would love
to hear from you. Your thoughts on home, and any scriptures you may know or
love about home.
