Here we go.

Ok I actually ended up having a couple minutes. I just never know what my schedule might be! Even now I have no clue how long I have to try and write.

The last three weeks has been a continual process of learning and growth. The first huge thing I learned was on the evening of my first day off. I was very frustrated by situations happening at home, and tried talking to the girl that is the leader of us girl interns here. Here's the thing about this girl, she has a habit of speaking truth whether you want to hear it or not. I remember by the end of the conversation being very frustrated, but throughout the next few days, I reflected on what she said and began to understand. (Keep in mind that a lot of what I have learned has built on each other and kind of run together so I might repeat myself a bit). I realized that God desires to fix my situation. His will isn't that I continue to live in a situation that is hurtful. He wants for there to be healing and restoration. I had never really thought about the fact that God doesn't like the situation that I'm in anymore than I do. On the other hand, He loves everyone affected by the situation, and wants there to be healing in all of us. Somehow that kind of blew my mind. I know God loves me and wants the best for me, but I just always thought that this was the life He gave me so He must want it that way. Yes, He is sovereign and there is a reason for this. But that is because He works out the evil for good. I believe that He hates to see me, His dear child, hurting. Another thing I realized that night, the part that frustrated me most, was that in order for there to be healing in any of my family, there needed to be encouragement between us. We tend to talk constantly about how miserable our lives are and how we wish it was this way and we wish it was that way. Instead of that, learning to be thankful, and encourage one another in our pursuit of God could completely change the atmosphere of some of our situation. I still don't know exactly what that looks like and I know it will be extremely difficult to begin doing, but I feel it is what I am called to. I have a position in my family where I am one who takes care of things and has a lot of responsibility. I need to use this responsibility, well, responsibly. I need to learn to love on and encourage every member of my family.

That was my first lesson.

The second lesson happened last week. This time the leader of all of the interns, James, was talking to us and just pouring out his heart. He is one of the most solid people I have ever met, and I am so blessed to be able to learn from him this summer. He was talking about loving people. Now what is interesting about this is that loving people is my passion. I LOVE people. So as he is talking about this, I'm thinking yeah! I love people. I got this, right? heh. oh angela. Anyway, so as he is talking he starts saying that we are called to love people no matter who they are. He said no matter who they are, how much they hurt us, emotionally, physically, whatever, it doesn't matter. We are just called to love and serve them. For some reason this time, it clicked. It doesn't matter how hard it is or how much it hurts, I am called to love my dad. So as I'm thinking this, I think 'but if I love, I open myself to being hurt.' and then the words 'turn the other cheek' come to mind. That, too, clicked. Think about how vulnerable a position that is! after someone slaps you, and you just turn your other cheek and say ok, hurt me again. that's insane! but what I am called to do. I am called to love and serve and turn the other cheek. I am also called to go above and beyond expectations. My family is gonna have a hard time with my trying to love and serve my dad. It might really upset them. This is when James started talking about if a person asks you to go a mile with them, go with them two. so it doesn't matter what my family or what my dad expects, I do only what God expects. I go above and beyond the expectations of people.

That was my second lesson.

I know these all seem so simple and fundamental, but it was just one of those situations where everything finally clicked.

It seems I am going to have to save my third lesson for another time.

You are loved.

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